Category Archives: Consciousness

Practical Path to Healing

There is no one way to access the path of healing. In my direct experience healing is made accessible through prayer, emotional release and Journey work, hands on energy transmission, distance healing, yogic and Kabbalistic tools and technologies and any other method that connects us to the Self. Ultimately it is a gift of grace when healing, either spontaneous or cellular takes place. In my experience there is so much ‘to do’ and ultimately nothing to do at all. I have witnessed miraculous remissions and returns from death’s door take place in all the different ways possible. And I witness these constantly.

The goal of Aruna Yoga is to awaken you to this infinite healing potential. The yoga practice awakens the latent, internal power and it does so by raising the Kundalini Shakti in a vertical ascent from the base of the spine to the crown of the head. As this happens consciousness is awakened and a meeting with the infinite Self occurs. This is the science of Yoga. There is also a simultaneous energy from the heart and through the heart that happens that is more of a horizontal energy from east to west. Paramahansa Yogananda calls this Christ consciousness and its fabric is unconditional love. This energy when externalised into a transmission of healing force emits through the hands, which is what hands on energy healing is in essence.

These two energy directions of the Yogic Science of Kundalini from root to crown and the love and healing energy from left to right forms a cross that meets at the heart centre. The yogic system of chakras includes the lower triangle of three base chakras and the upper triangle of the higher energy centres. When the lower and upper triangles meet, they connect at the heart in the form of the Star of David. The Star of David is called the Magen David (דויד מגן) in Hebrew, which means shield or protection as it protects the heart, our source of unconditional love. The cross represents Jesus and the crucifixion which represents transformation. Thus all confluence from all directions (north to south – Kundalini; east to west – Christ consciousness) meets at the heart. This is the core from which all healing takes place and from which the miraculous is made possible. The heart is the home of our essence, our love, our true Self. One could then encapsulate healing then as love. God = love. It really is that simple.

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I grew up with a family of healers. My great grand father was said to be known in his village in Lithuania for hands on healing and people would come to him to receive the transmission of healing from his touch. I was always exposed to what we called spiritual healing from childhood. When my grandmother was diagnosed as terminal as her breast cancer had metastasized beyond what was at that time in the 60’s medically treatable, it was ‘spiritual healing’ or hands on healing that completely healed the tumours all over her body. So I grew up always knowing that this secret, whispered possibility to heal beyond the paradigm of the known was available. I was told since childhood that I am a healer and it was only through the meeting of the science of yoga and the Christ consciousness energy of unconditional love that the true manifestation of this power to effect healing emanated through me. And it revealed infinite possibility and miraculous healing. From physical pain to tumours disappearing to fertility, to truly manifesting the miraculous. As Yogi Bhajan said, “be realistic, plan for a miracle.” This is truly my motto.

How is this possible? Through Self enquiry and Self realization, through releasing blocked emotions, through the power of the word through intention and prayer and through directing the unseen energy through ancient tools and technologies that yoga, Kabbalah and other modalities offer.

I have spent the last decades developing the Self as channel for healing and do not purport to have it all down! There are so many tools available, so many paths and languages to come to healing. I am humbly sharing the tools that I use and that appear to work. This is what Aruna Yoga is: to show you how you can heal both yourself and others. To develop the tools through yoga and consciousness to heal anything that is ready to be freed and released. Ultimately it is up to grace if, when and how this healing will happen. But with Aruna Yoga we do whatever we can to encourage grace along her way!

DJ Divine: Unwind Rewind with Marilyn Ambach

Sat Nam,

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I had the most divine opportunity to be hosted on Marilyn Ambach’s radio show, Unwind, Rewind and talk about my favourite loves: Yoga, Music and inner connection.

Click here for the blog and radio show with Marilyn Ambach

It was truly amazing to share some of my favourite music, to be in the zone and let the Divine DJ create a flow of eclectic music and inspired thought on yoga and its magic.

So many of you ask me for my playlists, of which I have many. The main one is Aruna Yoga and it grows regularly to reflect my current musical vibes. Here it is if you want to hear more and see how I blend mantra and other genres to create inner connection.

 

Enjoy!

Deepest love

Nicki

DOA! (Dead on Awakening)

Amidst the mayhem and drama of 2017, where my life as I knew it fell into an unrecognizable shambles, the universe or this ‘god’ thing, threw an extra bit of juice in the blender, an extra spoke in the wheel of my evolving consciousness. There is a belief that I seem to have that whatever is here, is arising for my highest good, to keep me present, wake me up from complacency and get me home to the Self. I like to simplify these wake up calls under the title of the “triple D’s“: Death, Divorce and Diagnosis.

The Triple D’s offer ample scope to direct your awareness deep into the core of your Truth, and if recognized as such, are usually the greatest gifts along our evolutionary paths.

Apparently Divorce alone wasn’t enough. Death of all that I knew my life to be, myself to be, my identity deceased. DOA! (Dead on Awakening)! Not enough!

Because I am so lucky and such a good student ;-), I got to get a Diagnosis thrown into the mix of a really challenging year. In May last year, after much testing and investigation, I was diagnosed with glaucoma. Now it’s not the worst diagnosis you can get out there in the field of the Triple D’s. Although treatable if caught early enough, it is incurable, degenerative and if left untreated, the pressure on the optical nerve will lead to loss of peripheral vision and then blindness. Not great, right?

My ophthalmologist may have assumed me to be crazy, and you, dear reader may agree, but I asked him to give me some time before starting medical treatment. My response to the diagnosis, was, to say: Listen, I have something in my pocket that you don’t, the ability through the release of emotional blocks to heal the body naturally. I was actually elated as I came home to share the news with my loved ones. There amidst the shock of the diagnosis was a palpable excitement that the universe was offering my eyes as my own little laboratory of Self.  I have a chance to be my own little guinea pig and see if I could actually heal something this big for myself. This seemed like a generous gift from Shiva and the Gods of destruction and transformation, that like to see me awaken through letting some shit hit the fan. No impending death pressure, some time and space on my hands and off I went to put my money where my eyes are.

If you know me a bit you will know that I am pretty much focused on being present, on healing and on awakening to the Self. Everything else seems black and white in the wake of the technicolor of Self realization. I spent the last couple of decades learning various healing modalities, yoga and then some and came some years ago to the Journey work that was utterly life transformational. At the time I met Brandon Bays and the Journey work, my sister was terminally ill, with the clock ticking and no plan B. The Journey became her plan B and within 7 weeks she was utterly healed of lung and brain cancer and remains so to this day.

That seriously got my attention and I dove head first into healing, to experience a series of miraculous healings. Tumours would disappear after days, sometimes seconds, bones would grow, pains mysteriously disappear, warts, cysts and back ache seemed to be gone. It was and is a miracle fest and I am gobsmacked in the face of it. So much so that my life path diverted somewhat and healing and deepening into this that heals became how I spend my days and some nights. I once joked, that if I would get a tattoo, it would read:

Be realistic, plan for a miracle!

My certainty for the miraculous to unfold was immutable. At least for my clients and beloveds.

And then my diagnosis…amidst a whole lot of chaos and life change, seemed like a lot of work and it fell on the back burner as I tried to pick up the pieces of shamble that resembled what I used to call life. It was easy for me to facilitate others in their own healing path, but there was something jarring when it came to giving myself the time and attention to do the work to release the emotional blocks behind the glaucoma.

I made sure that I got some Journey processes, I stayed finely tuned in to what I used to call a spiritual practice but to what I now call, ‘sitting on my ass, shutting the fuck up and going deep inside of myself’, home to the truth of my being. Throw in a few prayers and that was pretty much it.

This ‘truth of your being’ business doesn’t sound like much. But when one meets this that is the source of Self, this infinite emptiness that has no limit, but presents as pure love, peace, stillness, omniscience, divinity…no words can encapsulate this meeting of Self or God or Truth. In the union with this, healing is accessible, inevitable. And it is available here and now. Here is is the God-like Self, the Infinite Self that does what is needed to be done. It is epiphanic as it shows from the perspective of omniscience, the bigger picture.

My bigger picture revealed that my eyes were manifesting my fear of really seeing what I didn’t yet have the courage to see. And when this readiness to truly SEE arose, so this pressure was able to subside.

And so it did. My peripheral vision well and truly expanded.

And you know, for someone on the brink of a really bad tattoo, I noticed some palpable doubt arise about my ability to manifest my own miraculous healing as I sat yesterday morning at the ophthalmologist’s office. Until the doctor’s diagnosis was spoken:

No. There is no glaucoma. Your eyes are fine.

DOA. Dead on awakening. Doubt, fear, blocks, all gone. All the obstacles to full optimal health and well being obviated! Perhaps the universe is ready for me to really see. To open into a greater vision of Truth.

Let’s all wait and SEE!

Sat Nam and excited yelps of delight!

Nicki

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Self Enquiry

Aruna Yoga is about the discovery of self, self awareness through yoga and meditation.

The fundamental tenet of the teachings of Aruna Yoga is Self enquiry.

Ramana Maharshi espoused Self enquiry a method for spiritual awakening.

“What is essential in any sadhana [spiritual practice] is to try to bring back the running mind and fix it on one thing only. Why then should it not be brought back and fixed in Self-attention (To this feeling of ‘I’)? That alone is Self-enquiry (atma-vichara). That is all that is to be done!”

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Self-Enquiry is an awareness of the awareness itself. It leads us beyond duality, because the object of meditation (the “I”) is ultimately revealed as the Subject itself (the transpersonal Consciousness).
Self enquiry is the constant attention to the inner awareness of “I” or “I am”. By directing vigilant attention to the I thought, it will disappear and only I or self awareness will remain. This results in an effortless awareness of being, and by staying with it, it gradually destroys the tendencies which cause the ‘I’-thought to rise, and finally the ‘I’-thought never rises again, which is Self realisation or liberation.
The yoga technologies help us to cut at the root of this “I” thought, to still the fluctuations of the mind matter that is in constant movement and find the stillness at the core of our being. This is Self. Yogi’s have called this meeting, irrespective of lineage, self realisation. It is the ultimate boon of all yoga practice. When we meet Self, it is done. There is nothing further to do, learn or achieve. It is indeed done.

May we dwell here in this place of Self, abide as it.

Om Namah Shivaya!

Love and Blessings,

Nicki

Happy Rebirthday!

Today is my birthday. As I turn 45, I get a mini half way review. Is my life as I expected it might be? It has certainly taken some unexpected turns in this last year. Some have been heart wrenching, some tidal in their engulfment. Yet I am perfectly who I would have dreamed to have been, close to half way to 100.
I have a sense of self, based on truth. I live from this truth, and it dictates how my life plays out irrespective of others’ perception. I am living a magical dream filled with my beautiful children and loved ones, inspired work, grace filled abundance and I am wholly steeped in gratitude.
Gratitude for it all. For all this love that I live and that surrounds me, for the characters in my divine leela like story. I am grateful for my healthy, able and agile body, which shows its 45 years on this earth with grace and ease. I am grateful for this mind that helps me traverse the many contours of earthly necessity and even more grateful for the tools that allow me to transcend it to a place of mindlessness.
 I am grateful for the feet of mastery that I’ve always been washed at, which catapulted my spiritual awakening and affords me a glimpse into stillness in the mire of this maya (the so called illusion of reality). I am grateful for every obstacle along the path to this stillness which taught me compassion, love, acceptance and oneness. I am grateful for my own recognition of the need for a constant vigilance to the tools and technologies that keep me here, now. I am grateful for humility and being buckled where necessary to my knees. I am grateful for the wisdom that time’s winged chariot afforded on this 4 and half decade long journey so far and for the promise of deepening into more along with the lines on my face yet to come.
I prostrate at the feet of the infinite truth that is ME, my nature, limitless, ageless and birthdayless for it has never been born, nor has it died. It took me close to half a century and ceaseless search to find mySelf and recognize who I truly am. As I stay here, now, each moment of this recognition is a rebirthday, so while I read the wishes of love that pour in on this day, the 19th April, I’d like to reflect it from this mirror of Self to You, as this Love, as this Truth and as myself!
See you tomorrow to celebrate in my very favourite way, practicing yoga, loving and praying!
  • Thursday 20th April: 9:00-10:30am: Aruna Yoga in Herzliya Pituach
Address: Ha-Nasi Yitskhak Ben Tsvi 47 Herzliya
Sat Nam and Happy Rebirthday!
Nicki
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Coming out the sacred closet…יציאת מארון הקודש

​Sat Nam! 

Sharing some spoken truth from Rosh Pina this morning.

May you all find your way to speak your truth, live from your truth and be nakedly honest with the essence of yourSelf!

​​​​​Blessings and love,

Nicole 

Conversation on Truth with Daniel Wagner

Yesterday was a beautiful day, where I got to speak to Daniel Wagner on the healing power of yoga. We really got to converse deeply on Truth, the questions of ‘Who am I?’ and how we both found our relentless spiritual quest coming to stillness in the finding of our paths, whichever and however they may look!

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To watch our dialogue click here!

Daniel’s website simplyconscious.com is a meeting place for those who are, simply conscious 😉

Please visit it, sign up and stay tuned in to a growing community of like minded consciousness. I feel blessed to be a part of it!

Please feel free to leave comments and share your feedback!

Sat Nam

Nicki

 

 

 

I am free…

My daughter was probably three years old. She and my father would play for hours. She would be the waitress, the doctor, the maître D’. My father would indulge her every game, role-playing along in various accents and scenarios. This one particular day, they were playing the role of teacher-student. My father was giving Tia a test. He would ask her a question and she would scribble an answer (scribble being the operative response as at three years old she couldn’t yet write anything other than a semblance of a letter or two, kribbel krabbel we called it in Flemish). I remember my father’s questions to her…How deep is the ocean? She would scribble out the answer. How high is the sky? Lyrics from one of his favourite songs were his questions, her answers then put to page. How much do I love you…

At the end of the ‘test’ I was asked to be the examiner and to mark the test paper. I took the few pages of kribbel krabbel, and ticked various ‘answers’ playing along with the game. I then turned the page and noticed clearly amidst the scrawl, the words: “I am free.”

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I was amazed. There was nothing intelligible save a few random child-like letters that showed a child’s learning in process. And then in the middle of the pages, these cursive words “I am free.”

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I lost my brother 20 years ago. His life had been a deep struggle characterized by mental illness, tragedy and an unexpected and seemingly untimely death. Six weeks after he passed, he appeared to my mother in the space between wakefulness and sleep. She reached up to him and he said to her, “I stepped out of my body and into freedom.” This message and its timing had allowed us to feel the perfection of his passing. It allowed for the recognition of the incarceration of the body and the release of the form into freedom on death. When I read Tia’s play-play test results, it felt to me like my brother Shaul had spoken through Tia to say that he is free and that his spirit remains omnipresent and eternal. And that the fact that he had died five years before her birth didn’t preclude their interconnection as well as continued communication and contact with us.

And then tonight, something caught my eye from the inside flap of the book I am reading. The book, ‘Papaji: Amazing Grace’ by Premananda is a series of interviews with disciples of Papaji (Sri H.W. J Poonja) who was a disciple of Ramana Mahrshi, both of whom I am in deep connection with. There was this picture of his writing, these three singular words:

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I have no knowing of anything at all. This is pretty much the only knowing I have. Yet this felt like a message to me coming to me in a moment, where I needed reminding of the freedom that I am. Something in me makes me wonder if it was not Papaji who wrote those words all those years ago through Tia. Something whispers that Shaul, Papaji, Freedom. Same, same. And the lyrical perfection of timing gives us the divine messaging just at the moments we need to hear them. Right when we need to remember the truth. The truth of freedom. The freedom of truth. That we are all free. That the shackles of the body and mind are simply illusory separations from our essential freedom. That I am free.

Both Papaji and Shaul passed in September, just before the Jewish New Year.

In gratitude to Shaul Forman who stepped out of his body and into freedom exactly 20 years ago.

In memory of Papaji who took mahasamadhi and left form for formlessness exactly 19 years ago.

In reverence to the One that is Infinite, Eternal and Free.

And to the recognition of that One within us all and to the freedom that is our essential nature.

I am that.

I am Free.

Om Namah Shivaya

 

Sat Nam and love,

Nicki

September 2016

 

On Courage

What is courage? Is it a new found emotion that I have yet to encounter? 

Courage isn’t found in words. It is born of the power within you to act on the knowing that whispers through beneath the din of the mind’s chatter.

Courage means living with integrity and holding true to what you know to be right, even if every thought from your mind begs you to do otherwise.

Courage is in letting go when you don’t want to, but staying true to what you know is in the highest and best.

Courage is outrageous, draws on every impetus that you have to be able to live aligned to your truth.

Courage means all acceptance and all compassion especially for yourself.

Courage requires the ‘rage’ of ‘cœur’, the fire of the heart, propelled by a momentum that defies mind and its limitations.

Courage is acting now and in clarity.

Courage is in saying no even when it takes every morsel of your power to do so. Courage is in saying yes despite it defying all logic. Saying yes to Self.

Courage is there as an undercurrent, like presence or awareness. It is not something you have to acquire or garner. It is an extant place to access, like a secret doorway to limitless power.

Find the key to the doorway. Open it. Unlock and fall into the Unknown. Be content to not know. To never know. You never can. There is only the unfathomable. Here you are Home.

OM sweet OM.

 

Out of the comfort zone is my new comfort zone

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This is what I just realized. I felt really sick yesterday. It escalated rather quickly. What started with a sore throat moved into a sleepless night and then into painful ears. I endured the night, with a rumble of kvetch and then this morning cancelled my appointments for the day. Deciding to stay in with my five year old. Take a bed ridden day rather unheard of in my bumper to bumper schedule of life! Today when sharing with a friend how I felt and her normal suggestion of medication to alleviate the pain, I replied,” No I don’t take want to take medication. How would I be able to identify what is really behind what my body is telling me?”

With all this time on my hands, I decided to schedule a private session of healing for myself. The healer suggested taking me out of my comfort zone. I said being out of my comfort zone is my comfort zone. It is where the conscious application of awareness comes into effect. I can understand the bodily alarm bells, as it whispers or occasionally screams out its need for my attention. And my notion of comfort, bodily, emotionally or existentially has shifted so that there no longer is a needing, or wanting of comfort, but rather an acceptance of what is, just as it is. Devoid of any judgment of good or bad and free of desire or attachment to any particular state. Just an acceptance of the here and now.

This is a massive evolution from a lifetime of seeking highs, desire based interaction and recoil in the face of sickness, pain or emotional decline. This was effected initially by recognizing what my mother in law calls, the ‘Yay moment’: The moment when the shit hits the fan and instead of lament, we celebrate the engrained opportunity for growth, adaptation and spiritual evolution. I got some serious practice at it. Yay to cancer in an inordinate amount of my loved ones. Yay to enforced immigration of my parents’ due to my father’s illness. Yay to a steady flow of challenge. Yay. Yay. Yay. I got really lucky I guess. I get to yay through a lot.

And as a result of the healing work that I do, I get to say yay almost daily in the lives of people coming for healing and growth. I recognize pain and challenge to be the doorway into awakening. Indeed it has catalyzed a tremendous kick through this portal for me. Moving out of our comfort zone is where awakening can really start. And somehow in this recognition of the opportunity of the challenge, the challenges morphed into miraculous outcomes, awe inspired healings, and welcome blessings.

Today though, it is no longer even a yay moment. It just is what is here. And if it here, it is perfect. It is here for my growth. It is here for freedom. The sore throat. The undulation of life’s curve balls. The ups. The downs. All are simply here for the opportunity to cultivate steadiness. To recognize the bigger picture and to keep drawing the camera backward until the fullest, most pervasive perspective is in view. All provide the deepening into this that is awareness itself. And this counts too for the desirable moments we would likely aim for, want or strive for. These too warrant the same level of neutrality. The choice to shift from first class into steerage allows me to recognize that I am not even the passenger, but the awareness that watches the journey itself. And that this comfort zone is just a nom de plume for complacency, a procrastination against being awake to the here and now.

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In this last trip to India, I managed to do a full 3 minutes of stretch pose. Kundalini Yogis know this pose well, generally loath it. It requires hard core abdominal strength (my weakest bodily part) and a powerful breath of fire. For years I have managed to go in and out of attaining the full timing, but always with a tremendous struggle, excruciating in fact. Now my mantra became ‘Here’ on the inhale, ‘Now’ on the exhale. There wasn’t a thought for the timing, or how long, or when the end would be called. Instead there was just this: Here, Now. The body continued its efforts but with no struggle. My awareness abiding as pure presence. Time became timeless.

This is my new comfort zone: Here. Now. Indeed a yay for every moment no matter what it looks like. A yay for this moment, just as it is.

Sat Nam and blessings,

Nicki